Parenting : Proper Environment, Proper Upbringing
Do you realise that there are several factors that influence/shape our characters? (ie. the kinds of unique personalities that each of us has)
One of it is, our environment.
Does your child live with a habit of ‘ordering or telling people what to do’? (which unconsciously can be created when one has a helper at home)
Some parents don’t regard it as important. But there are parents who are particular about the kind of friends their children have, the kind of estate they live in and the kind of school they go to.
Basically, the kind of ENVIRONMENT that their children live in everyday.
Here are a few things that I personally learned today that I’d like to share with you [we all went to our church’s retreat and were greatly blessed by Rev. DR. Stephen Tong’s sermons]
Our children should (must) not be good friends with ‘bad friends’ (read : people who won’t be of good nor positive influence). Because peers will influence the child and his character.
And as parents we should ACTIVELY seek or create a constructive environment for our children.
…
Mencius’ mother moved their house three times, from beside a cemetery to beside a marketplace, to FINALLY beside a schoolIt was widely known that Mencius, a famous Chinese philosopher, has a mother who’s well aware of the great effect one’s environment has on one’s characters.
In the traditional Chinese idiom, there’s this saying, ‘mèng mǔ sān qiān’, which literally means, ‘Mencius’ Mother, Three Moves’
And it actually refers to the legend that Mencius’ mother moved their house three times, from beside a cemetery to beside a marketplace, to FINALLY beside a school.
She decided that having a home beside a school would be the most suitable location for Mencius’ upbringing. And Mencius later did learn from the scholars, their love for knowledge and he imitated them greatly.
This traditional Chinese idiom basically refers to the importance of a proper environment for the proper upbringing of children.
Mencius’ mother understood of this concept, and she dared to actively search for a suitable environment that would greatly shape her son’s characters.
…
“Bad company corrupts good character.”
Does your child live with a habit of ‘ordering or telling people what to do’? (which unconsciously can be created when one has a helper at home)
Does your child go to a school where many of her peers are super smart and that the fact that she’s not ‘as smart as them’ (after giving her personal best) makes her feel inferior about herself and her capability?
Are our child’s school friends mostly wealthy and she gets ridiculed by friends for not having a Mercedes Benz or a BMW?
…
Our children need to be grown-ups who strive to help, serve and continually be a blessing to others.
And as parents we can contribute to the shaping of their characters.
By actively doing something and making a positive change, today.
…
Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.”
1 Corinthians 15:33
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This is something that is quite sad….it is an epidemic in our society today where children are lacking respect…. and it is taught to them. Unfortunately, I have been a part of this epidemic until now! I read a wonderful book recently, which changed my way of upbringing dramatically. Written by Dani Johnson, it is entitled “Grooming the Next Generation for Success”. Don’t be put off by the title.. once I got into reading it I realised that a lot of what is written is biblically led. Awesome stuff, and it’s working.
Kodomut :
Ya … it is sad to see how some children behave like they rule the world. And it does come down to how they’re brought up by the family too (eg. their says are always right in the eyes of their parents).
I know it’s going to be a challenge bringing up the kids … coz regardless of how we want to bring them up, our kids will still be part of the society, and we can’t protect them from negative external influences …
Our hope is for our two kids to grow up knowing the right thing to do, how to behave, how to treat and respect others, etc … even though we’re not there with them.
…
Sandra :
Thanks Sandra!
Nancy :
you’re welcome 🙂 Gw bakal coba tulis bbrp point lagi besok2, semoga kesampean (disini fullll bgt tiap hari … lu juga pasti ya disono). Tp kita dapet byk banget mmg dari retreatnya!
Btw, ntar Agape bakal muat bahasan di Retreat juga katanya!
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Siska :
Ini salah satu reason kenapa kita decide utk ikutan jadi ‘volunteer’ di sekolahan kristen (bukan top school tapi kualitasnya baik) yang kita rencana mau masukin si Anya nanti pas Primary 1.
Disini ada volunteer scheme, dimana kalau rumahnya kita agak jauh dari sekolahan (more than 2km), chance utk masuk itu kecil bgt (bahkan mgk 100% ga bisa). Tapi kalo parentnya mau ‘volunteer’ (40 jam dlm 1 thn SEBELUM anaknya masuk Primary 1, dan hrs apply DUA thn sebelon anaknya due to be in Primary 1), chance utk anaknya masuk ‘lebih tinggi dikit’.
Segitunya dah di Spore. More kids wishing to enter the school than the amount of available seats sih.
Ada parents yg di reject tuh (ie. mau volunteer tp school ga terima). Kita sendiri belon tau apa kita ‘diterima’ utk volunteer. Baru tau bulan depan leh…
Well Said!
Very true!
But sadly, as a part-time private tutor, I’ve seen my fair share of “little emperors” with attitudes that are appalling for children of such age. When I was still young, my mother would be very strict with my upbringing and at that time I never knew the rationale behind it.
But now, as a young adult, and seeing the crazy behaviour of some of the children and school kids in public, I finally know why. I’m sure your kids will grow up into fine adults under your watchful eye though! ^^
so true so true….
Le, thanks for sharing. sharing banyakan lagi dong dari Retret..:)