Exploring Our Children’s Potentials

Little children are naturally curious about everything.

They like to ask, wonder, explore, repeat the same old questions and try things out ‘to see what happens’. As they get curious about lots of things, they explore, and hence they learn.

They’d go, ‘Why?’, ‘When?’, ‘Where?’, ‘How?’, ‘Which one?’, ‘Can I see it NOW?’, ‘How come?’

And at times, instead of asking questions, they’d go ahead and ‘try’ things out.

They’d pour water on the floor, blow bubbles with their saliva, put crayons into their mouth, lift the lid of daddy’s box to see the inside, flip a box of toys upside down, observe tiny red ants marching along a pole, etc.

And parents, faced with their kids’ frequent questioning and ‘physical explorations’, may simply feel ‘tired’. Sometimes even, parents snap back at their kids, telling them to ‘just be quiet!’, to ‘Stop asking so many questions!’ and to ‘NOT do that, please!’

[Having two kids myself – where the older one tends to show her curiosity ‘verbally’, while the other likes to test and try things out with less talk  – I do go through what it’s like dealing with kids’ curiosity, and yes, it can really be mentally tiring]

Remarks – though made jokingly – such as : ‘Are you sure you want to lift that box? You’re so small!’ or ‘I don’t think my son can sing! There’s no use of him trying out to join the children choir!’ can also have detrimental effects on a child’s eagerness to try something out.

When we choose to tell our kids to ask LESS questions and to STOP touching/throwing/opening/trying things out, it may be the easiest way to soothe our throbbing headache and thinning level of patience. But I do often wonder whether such an approach is the ‘best’ approach for our kids’ development.

What happens if our kids then become ‘less curious’ kids?

What if our kids become ‘less interested’ to venture and try out new things?

I came across this excellent article on children’s curiosity.

And here’s an interesting paragraph I’d like to quote:

For too many children, curiosity fades. Our potential — emotional, social, and cognitive — is expressed through the quantity and quality of our experiences. And the less-curious child will make fewer new friends, join fewer social groups, read fewer books, and take fewer hikes. The less-curious child is harder to teach because he is harder to inspire, enthuse, and motivate.

As much as my husband and I try to nurture our kids’ love for discovery, exploration and learning, where possible, we do realise that at times, many times, we may unconsciously be limiting (read: ‘killing’) our kids’ curiosity through our comments, our reactions, even our tone of voice.

[Yes, we both have so much to learn, and this article becomes such a strong reminder to us]

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Another question that I feel we parents often try to figure out when it comes to children and their curiosity is : ‘so, where is the limit then ?’ Especially because (to me) letting our children explore, discover and find things out for themselves does not mean they can do ‘anything’ they want.

And in terms of letting my kids explore, here are some of my ‘general rules’:

I tend to let my kids do what they’re about to do, IF :

– it doesn’t pose extreme danger to themselves (eg. running about in car parks, wanting to walk by themselves while crossing the road, standing too near to an open fire)

– the action is not destructive – to public’s and other people’s property (eg. writing on neighbour’s wall, scratching people’s cars, stepping on someone’s belongings intentionally)

– the action doesn’t hurt / endanger / cause pain to others (eg. stepping on someone’s toes intentionally, pushing games by the road side, purposely throwing a toy towards someone’s head)

It’s a much longer list and I’m still learning and adding more to it as I go along.

The thing is, when it comes to raising kids things are not always as simple as black and white . These little ones’ behaviours are not always predictable, and often I find myself wondering HOW best I should be tackling certain situations.

Oh well. I guess that’s why our learning journey as parents never stops.

We’ll never be fully equipped and wise, but we should always try our best. For the children’s sake.

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[Photo info]

Top : Vai’s version of ‘looking at the world with a different perspective’

Middle : Mixing and ‘cooking’ our ‘Pepper Lunch‘ (rice, ingredients and sauce served on on a hot iron plate

Bottom : Our close encounter with an adult leopard during our visit to Safari Park, Cisarua, Indonesia last June