Exploring Our Children’s Potentials

Anya started attending her nursery last Wednesday, 2 Jan. Yes I know. Already! I really feel she’s growing up so fast!

Btw here in Singapore, pre-nursery (also known as ‘N1’) is for kids who turn 3 years old this year. And it’s optional. As for nursery (or ‘N2’) – the one Anya’s attending right now – it’s for kids who’ll be 4 years old this year. Now this is compulsory. Kids are to attend nursery (N2), then kindergarten 1 (K1) and kindergarten 2 (K2), before going to Primary 1.

So far, Anya’s been pretty okay when it comes to being left with someone else. Like whenever we’re in Jakarta, she’d willingly go and attend sunday school all by herself, though she doesn’t know anyone there. In fact, she’s been like this since really young (very unlike her brother who’ll completely refuse to be left alone with strangers)

And so when Vai and I sent her to attend school for the first time today, I sort of went with nothing much in mind. I sent her into her classroom and waited outside, looking in to see how she went through the tinted window.

On day one, she quietly joined in the activities, but refused to participate. She also insisted that I stayed in the same room with her. Good thing Vai was fast asleep in my sling at the time and so I sat at the back of the classroom throughout the two-hour session (note: starting next Monday, it’ll be three hours each day, from Monday to Friday).

On day two, things were better. She quietly joined the class, ate her lunch, listened to stories, played in the playground and all that. Though she’s very quiet, I know it’s completely fine because kids have their own way of adjusting to new environments. In fact, I thought she did pretty good.

Today’s her third session and I’ve planned to read a book while sipping my cup of tea at a nearby food court, carrying Vai sleeping in my sling, while waiting for her two-hour class to end.

But what do you know. Things turned out very differently.

We took a public bus today (took a taxi in the past 2 days!), stopped at the nearest bus stop and walked for 5 minutes to school. As we walked, Anya then started crying, telling me how she felt prickly and itchy all over her body (which I think is because of the switch between being inside the air-conditioned bus to walking under the scorching sun at 12.30pm in the afternoon!).

She cried all the way to school. Even as we entered the school gate. She stopped crying as we walked towards her classroom, but when it was time for her to go in, she gave me a desperate look, shook her head, REFUSED to go in and started crying again. Real loud.

I was totally unprepared for this. Her teachers then told me that it’s completely normal, that I should just leave her with them, how she’d be okay soon. I took a few moments to convince her of how much I love her, how I’ll have to go and how I’ll surely pick her up again after school, just like we usually do after sunday school.

It was all unsuccessful. She cried. In fact, she screamed out a very sad ‘NOOOOO …’ while holding onto me very tightly. Her teacher then carried her away from me while she cried out “MOMMYYY… MOMMY …. NOOOOO….” with her hands still reaching out for me.

Oooh I felt so bad and heart broken. So quilty. Like I’ve rejected and deserted her.

I was torn between two options. On one hand I know Anya is the type of child who needs to be talked and explained to. But on the other, I somehow feel I should respect the teachers’ way of handling a situation too.

I found an empty classroom, sat down and breastfed super sleepy Vai. Throughout I could hear Anya crying, constantly calling out ‘MOMMYYYYY….’. Her voice echoed through the corridors. Oh how my heart ached. I so wanted to go and comfort her, but I know I should wait for a few minutes. Perhaps her teachers would manage to calm her down in just a while longer, like they usually did with other kids.

Fifteen minutes ticked away very slowly and I could still hear her crying and calling out for me and so I decided to quickly go to her. Poor little Anya. She hugged me tight and sobbed as I whispered reassuring words to her. And for the rest of today’s session, I stayed close by, where she could see me, just as she requested.

Sigh.

Now that I’ve gone through the experience, I recall how people say the first few days (or weeks!) of school can be VERY tough.

The ‘separation anxiety’ phase for the kid can be pretty intense. But it’ll sure get better. And soon, these little ones will love school and their friends so much that they can’t wait for us parents to leave them there.

Ah anyway.

For now, I’ll continue to reassure her of how much we love her, sharing with her the interesting things she’ll get to learn and find out from school, and how she may need to ‘teach’ me about them when she gets home. How she’s the one who goes to school and not Vai because she’s the older sister who’s now ‘big enough’ to learn stuff like reading and counting.

[And oh, to make the topic of ‘being at school without mom’ less serious, we joke around too and say things like, if I do stay inside the classroom then everyone needs to call me ‘Teacher Leonny’ *smile*]

Oh well. It’s a new phase that she and I will learn to sail through. And in my heart I know she’ll be okay and happy with school one day.

…

How did your kids cope with their very first day of school? And how did YOU help them cope? I’d love to hear from you.

[added – 2 Mar 2009]
I recently found out that apparently N1, N2, K1, K2 are not compulsory. You can always choose to home-school your children prior to them entering Primary One. And as far as I understand, if you choose to continue home-schooling your kids when they’re supposed to be in Primary One, then you’d need to write to the Ministry of Education about your home-schooling plans.