Exploring Our Children’s Potentials

Anya gave us all a HUGE surprise during our Jakarta trip last December.

Let me share with you the story.

Together with Wilson’s family, we stayed at a resort and apparently it has a flying fox facility by the sea. And it’s free for all guests.

Basically, if you dare to give it a try, they’d put the gear on you and you’d need to climb a tall ladder up a tree. Once you’re up there, the instructor will then ‘hook’ you to a ‘wire’ that stretches all the way down. You’d then need to jump off the tree while holding onto the strap.

After I finished my breakfast, I walked towards the flying fox area, just to check things out. And to my surprise, Anya was in the queue! (accompanied by Daddy). I couldn’t believe what I saw. I then asked her if she knew what she’s queuing up for, and she actually answered casually that yes she wanted to try it out.

I mean, if it was Vai (at her age), I guess I’d be less surprised, considering his more daring and physically active character.

But hey this is ANYA! The girl who froze and refused to walk down the aisle (on the D-day!) as a flowergirl because everyone’s eyes were on her. The girl who prefers to stand at one side and watch all other kids run around the playground because she’s afraid she’d accidentally get knocked over by them.

As I stood next to her, my thoughts were running wild. Does she realise how tall the ladder is. Can she manage to go up those ladder steps. What if she goes up half way and freaks out. What if she reaches the top, cries her lungs out, and asks Mom or Dad to bring her down!

I kept these thoughts to myself.

Now. When it comes to our kids – especially Anya who often needs more encouragements when it comes to trying out new things (ie. adventure / sports / activity related), I guess I can say that Wilson and I are quite ‘open-minded’.

I mean, we prefer to let our kids explore their own limits and capabilities, with us standing by their side, ensuring that they’re of course safe, giving the needed support and encouragements (err … for Vai’s case, so far he likes to go beyond the ‘usual limit’ anyway!)

We also prefer to not ‘overly limit’ and ‘instill fear’ unnecessarily to our kids (eg. excessively saying ‘no’), as generally such an approach results in the child becoming less willing to explore beyond their ‘comfort level’ in the long run.

ANYWAY.

We let her go for the flying fox experience, and the instructor got her prepared with the gear and stuff. She was (obviously) the youngest and smallest participant there (still in her pyjamas too!).

And when it was her turn, she calmly climbed up the ladder. And she didn’t even stop nor pause!

At the time I was mentally prepared (and sort of ‘expected’) if she freaked out. I mean, the tree was very high compared to her height!

But you know what, she made it all the way to the top! And I had to hold back my tears of disbelief and pride! Really. Knowing her character (and age!), this is WAY beyond what I’ve ever imagined she would ever ever do!

Next challenge: the big jump.

The instructor got her securely hooked and asked her to hold onto the two straps. Then she sat at the edge of the plank, AND, she actually went for it!!

(if I were not videotaping at the time, I’d be cheering for her REAL loud for being so brave!)

Oh btw, the image below was taken from the video clip. Click HERE to watch it.

(note: as usual, please wait till the clip is fully downloaded before you click ‘play’)

I’m not sure if Anya realised how big an accomplishment it was. But we all sure were amazed.

She showed us (especially me!) how courage comes from within. And it can even unexpectedly come from someone who complains so much about how ‘painful’ her little scratch on the knee is.

Anyway. Two things I personally learned from this experience:

>> Give our children opportunities to explore
We wouldn’t have known that Anya could go through it all if we had said stuff that unnecessarily scared her off or stopped her from going for it in the beginning

>> Do not underestimate little children’s potentials and capabilities. Everyone of us is created by God with potentials, and young children can surprise us too when they surpass the parents’ initial ‘expectations’ of them.

Examples of sentences that I feel we parents should avoid saying to our kids:
– My son has always been the timid type, he sure won’t be able to do THAT!
– No, she can’t take photos! She’s never held a camera before!

Ah It’s not easy being a parent.

But really, I guess what we parents should at least try to do is to help our little ones continually discover pleasant surprises ABOUT themselves and FOR themselves, by providing them the exposure and encouragements.