Walk the talk
Not sure if you’ve heard about this but studies show how women in general talk a lot more than men. I mean, like, three times more or something.
And from what I can share, I personally find that after having my first kid, I do talk more.
AND, after my second one, I do talk even MORE.
*gasp*
But really.
It’s like, ‘Anya … can you please finish your food now’, followed by, ‘Vai … don’t touch the rubbish bin please. It’s dirty.’
There. In just 10 seconds, I’ve uttered SEVENTEEN words.
When our kids grow up being used to NOT doing what’s been asked of them immediately, it’ll somehow become a habit that they’ll carry with them throughout their adult livesThe problem is, kids being kids, they often don’t immediately do what we parents ask them to do. And we (usually) end up repeating our requests.
It’d be like:
Kid jumps on the bed.
Mom waits in the bathroom and asks her to come over for her shower.
Kid keeps jumping on the bed.
Mom repeats.
Kid still plays and laughs.
Mom repeats her instruction.
Frankly I often remind myself that when I ask Anya to do something, I should avoid repeating my requests for too many times (like, … for more than than three times?)
[I’d usually give an early warning, ‘This is the last time I’m going to ask you’, and if she still doesn’t listen, I’d carry out the consequence I’ve told her earlier, eg. I’d leave the room or take her unfinished plate and put it in the fridge]
…
I want my kids to develop a habit of doing something from the very first time they hear it (well, realistically it’s not always possible right now, of course, but it’s a habit that I’d like to build on my kids as they grow)
You see, when our kids grow up being used to NOT doing what’s been asked of them immediately, it’ll somehow become a habit that they’ll carry with them throughout their adult lives.
A habit of unconsciously (or consciously!) delaying things. NOT being an alert, proactive and quick-to-act person.
When I was little, I used to delay stuff.
Like when we’re getting ready to go out and it’s my turn to use the shower, I’d toss and turn on my bed and say, ‘In five minutes…’. Or when there’s a chore, I’d choose to do it later than having it done now. My ears somehow were just used to hearing repeated instructions, and I’d end up completing them at a later time.
[And I wasn’t rebuked much by my parents at the time]
Now that I reflect on it, all THAT is not doing any good on me as person today. I know I’ve changed over time, but a trace of that habit still lingers.
And so as I’m teaching my kids on this principle on a daily basis, I too am constantly teaching myself.
After all, kids do what WE do.
