Anya’s mealtimes: updates
Up until today, Anya’s mealtimes have (nearly) always taken more than an hour (ie. breakfast, lunch, afternoon snacks and dinner!). And it’s been more than 8 months now!
There are of course times when she’s faster than usual, but basically … her mealtime speed is really … below average (and just for your info, the TV is not on and she’s on her high chair).
And over the past 8 months, I’ve gone through soo many different emotional states trying to find out how to tackle and handle this … daily situation.
In the beginning when it all kinda started, I got very mad at her for taking what seemed like forever. And there’s a period when I became a VERY grumpy Mommy at every single mealtime (ie. four times a day!), for one whole week. I got very exhausted physically, mentally and emotionally in the end.
But really, I have to say it’s not worth it. It’s not doing any good at all, to me or Anya.
And so from then on I decided I won’t be (and shouldn’t be) too mad about it, and that I should learn to keep my cool and think of ways and methods to get her to finish her meal faster (read: less than an hour)
Here’re two methods I’ve tried:
>> ‘Clock & face the wall’ method
As she knows her numbers by now, I give her a reasonable time limit as to when she needs to finish her meal by, eg. when the clock’s long hand is on six. If she’s still not done by that time, she’ll be moved further away from the dining area (away from everyone), face the wall and finish her meal there. Alone.
As she’s still a toddler, I do need to frequently remind her of the time. I’d say something like, ‘I know you can finish your meal real fast. I don’t want to see you face the wall … so please eat your meal quickly and finish it before the long hand is on six’.
I’d then ask her, ‘What time do you have to finish your meal by?’, she’d then say, ‘by six’ (this way, she herself is reminded of our ‘deal’ and reconfirms the timing)
When this method is implemented, generally she’d finish her meal ‘in time’ or within 10-15 minutes after she’s made to face the wall (hmm, sometimes longer).
Note: when she’s past her given time and is made to face the wall, she’d give her saddest cries and pleas. When this happens, I do find it important for us to be firm and carry on with what’s been agreed upon earlier. This way, the kid learns to see that we’re serious and that we mean what we say.
After she’s moved, I’d usually tell her firmly again, ‘You know I don’t want to see you face the wall … finish your meal quickly now so we can do lots of other stuff together afterwards’.
>> Something to look forward to, straight after mealtime
It has to be something that she herself really wants and looks forward to, eg. read a book together, play-doh time, watercolour play or going to the library. And she needs to finish her meal first before her particular request / want is granted.
If she’s taking her time (eg. not chewing her food, playing with her soup), I’d say something like, ‘I’d like to play play-doh with you, make cakes and stuff, but if you don’t finish your meal, we can’t play … so it’s really up to you’. She’d usually go, “I want to plaaaayyy!’. Then I’d say, ‘Yes, we’ll play together right after your mealtime. Hurry and finish your meal, and we’ll play, okay…’.
Honestly, I usually take a different approach each time, as I do realise if a method is overly-used it’ll lose its effectiveness. Quite often I let her finish her meal in her own time. I do frequently need to remind her to quickly finish her meal though and I always praise her for eating ‘real fast’, emphasising the good and positive side of her.
Ah. Toddlerhood. A challenging yet interesting phase of life.
PS: I know I’ll look back and miss these moments in some 15 years time when by that age Anya would most likely eat out with friends more frequently than with us. And honestly, this thought usually helps me keep my ‘cool’ when faced with challenging situations with the kids. You know … to try and treasure my moments with the kids, however difficult they may be at the time.
