Exploring Our Children’s Potentials

“Thanks” to today’s gadgets, more and more kids tend to say, “I don’t know what I’m good at. I don’t know what I like. I’m not interested in anything actually.”

(But somehow they are interested in spending time with TikTok, IG reels, online games, TV, etc.)

The bigger concern I guess is,
– What do OUR kids do with their potentials?
– How are we encouraging them to explore?
– Do we try new things together with them?
– And when they actually DO something, do we respond with positive encouragements, or do we tend to give negative comments (though jokingly), which potentially deter them from experimenting further?

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“Our potential is one thing. What we do with it is quite another.”
– Angela Duckworth
Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance

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Photos:
Brie experimented and made some bread yesterday.
“When all homework is done, I thought I try baking some bread”, she said.
Always nice to come home to homemade bread (and nice to see her experimenting)

Love big dogs.

Rottweiler and American Akita.

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They belong to my big family, btw. One day I hope to have our own big dog at home.

When children are little, parents wish for more “me time”, time away from their little ones’ seemingly constant talks and questions.

When children are all grown up, away from parents, they miss their used-to-be-little kids’ noise and talks.

The house is, quiet.

If our children are still with us, let’s treasure their presence, including the ups and downs of being their parents.

While we still can.

Everyone dies.

Whether you are rich or poor, a person of great power and wealth or a beggar, a famous celebrity or a plain somebody.

Death comes to every one of us, and no power, money or anything can save us when it comes to us.

When Jesus died on the cross, He surrendered His life. He “chose” to bear the wrath and punishment (that was ours), and He “chose” to give His life and die for you and me, so that we who believe can be saved, reconciled, made right with God.

No longer enemies, but adopted as children who can lovingly call God: “Father”.

Christ’s resurrection from death is the reason why we have hope today, including a hope to conquer sinful temptations daily.

Our Saviour is alive!

Not in some tomb, but in heaven, praying for us, preparing a place for us at home, heaven, with Him one day.

I thank God for His sacrifice and love, for His resurrection, and I look forward to be home one day.

And this, everyone, is Easter.

May His grace and strength be given to us as we struggle to live our days, every day, not according to however we want, but according to His ways, for we have been redeemed, bought by His precious blood on the cross.Have a blessed Easter.

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Ephesians 1:7
In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace.

The phrase we often hear (e.g. in Hollywood movies, or in the American culture context) is, “as long as you’re happy.” or “all I want is for you to be happy”, or “aren’t you happy for me?”

As parents, I believe, we are not called to make kids happy.

Because if our children’s happiness is the ultimate goal when raising them, then it’s not a surprise that we see parents who, e.g., give whatever the child asks/wants, let the child does whatever/however he or she wants, etc.

I know, it may sound rather ‘extreme’, huh?

Sadly though, it happens in families 🙁

Recently we’ve been discussing this with the kids:

Remember the people who are kind and helpful towards us.

Show our genuine appreciation to them so that they know how we are grateful for them and what they’ve done for us.

Don’t delay in expressing our gratitude.

Communicate it.

Show it.

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Avoid thinking, “I’ve ALREADY said thank you.”

Because, when we have such a mindset, we are basically saying, “I’ve said my thanks once. Isn’t that enough? Why should I express my thanks any more than that?”

Such a mindset shows how we poorly appreciate the blessings we have received from others.

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Also, avoid thinking, “But when I said thanks, he/she doesn’t respond/reply with anything. So why should I say anything to that person in the first place? Wouldn’t it be useless?”

Saying thanks and showing appreciation towards others who have been kind/helpful is OUR duty.

It’s the least that we can do.

How the other person responds/replies, is BEYOND what we can control.

Other people’s response should never determine whether or not we’d do the right thing.

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So.

Have I done all those things myself?

Far from it.

I’m still learning.

I shared with the kids:
“I have been wrong in many ways. I have not shown enough appreciation towards others who have been kind and helpful towards me/our family. I’ve just recently realised it. I need to learn to show it more, communicate it better, so that the other party knows how genuinely grateful I am for what they’ve done. I hope you learn to do this too since young. May God help us.”

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Food for thought.

The youngest and I spent time together, just the two of us for a few good hours.

Lunch (plus bubble tea!), a casual stroll at the mall, me listening to her sharing with me all kinds of things (that might sound trivial, but I knew it’s important to her).

As I walked hand in hand with her, I said:

“Did you realise that I proposed the idea and asked if you’d want to go the mall with me?”

She nodded.

“Even if you didn’t ask if we could have some twosome time and go out, I’d still propose the idea. I know there are times when you asked me to do something and I couldn’t. That’s because I really couldn’t at that time.”

She continued to listen.

“I hope you can slowly learn to trust Mommy and Daddy, Brie.”

“What do you mean?”

“I hope you can learn to trust us, that we love you, Brie. If our decisions ever do not suit your liking, I hope you learn to not complain, or negatively challenge our decision. It simply means we have to say, “No” at that time.”

She was quiet.

I turned to look at her.

And I felt glad for I knew she understood.

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Trust can never be enforced.

It needs consistency and time.

It needs to be built over a long period of tim

Grateful that we shared our thoughts during our time together earlier today.

Parents need to have the habit of praying for their children, unceasingly.

We must pray for our children, we must create good habits at home, we must be present in our children’s day to day to guide and raise them in God’s ways.

This is the responsibilities of parents.

But ultimately, the change in their hearts is the work of God Himself.

Not the works of the parents’.

No practical tips, parenting methods, psychology, theology, nor knowledge can change our children’s hearts (nor ours!).

Only the presence of the Holy Spirit can make that change in one’s heart.

And, THIS must be our prayer request, … that God be present in our children’s hearts, changing and leading their lives, from now till they see Him face to face one day.

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A self reminder.
(Inspired by a parenting seminar)